Today

It's snowy here, so it seems like a good day to bring back the blog.  What a weird winter, heh?

Today is kind of a big day for the Mezger's.  It's not as big a day as it will be two months from today, but it's still a pretty big day.  Doug has been the Store Director at the Denison Hy-Vee for ten months.  Today.  WHICH MEANS that I've officially been in Denison with him for six months.  Today.  I remember that day. 

It was a Wednesday.  Doug had the day off.  It had been a good Wednesday at school, which makes me think that Becky had probably been at Brookview that day, or Tara and I had a giggle fit during lunch about something that no one else understood, or Traci and I witnessed some crazy third graders dancing with the tetherball poles while on recess duty, or ultimately ALL OF THOSE THINGS happened on that day.  Possible.  But unlikely.  Because, as I said, it was a good day, not a SPECTACULAR day.  So anyway, I stopped by the mall to pick up some seersucker outfits I had been eyeing during my planning time over the past week for the twins for Easter.  Finding THE PERFECT seersucker blazer for J and THE PERFECT seersucker vest for R and the most incredible little baby jeans and white button down shirts to complete the ensemble, I set out from Crazy 8 for a quick browse at Fossil.  "Why not!?  It's basically payday.  I mean, it's less than two weeks away.  I'll just see what they have..."  But somewhere between Crazy 8 and Fossil, somewhere around Hollister and that little Iowa State lounge-y area the familiar scream of "MY LIFE...WOULD SUCK...WITHOUT YOU" came blaring from my purse.  Seeing Doug's face, I answered...

"Hey, honey.  What's up?"

"Marsha, Where are you?"

"At the mall.  Where are you?" I asked with a wink.

"They gave me Denison."

"Doug, I told you to stop playing games with me about being transferred."  We had been playing this "I might get transferred" game for over a year by this point and I was OVER the endless talk and anticipation .

"No Marsha, I'm serious.  I just got off the phone with Ms. Western Half of Hy-Vee.  They picked me for Denison."  I started shaking. 

"Umm, okay.  When do you start?" I thought Monday seemed quick, but fair.

"They want me there tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?  Tomorrow.  You're KIDDING me?  What about Ankeny?  I mean, don't you need to go say goodbye and pack your stuff?  Don't we need to find you a place to live?  How are we going to do this by TOMORROW?"

"I'm going to go to Ankeny in the morning to tie up the loose ends there.  I'll go to Denison when I'm done.  They want me there by noon.  I'll have to stay in a hotel."

"So tonight's the last night for you to be home with the boys and Lucy and I?"

"Well, I'll be home to visit, but yeah, I guess so."  The weight of this realization hits us both at this point. 

"Okay.  Do you need white shirts?"  This is how my mind works in times of great stress... The shock and stress of all of this will subside as soon as I pick up some white shirts. Totally, typically Marsha.

"Yes."

"Okay.  I'll go get some shirts and be right home."

The next morning Doug left the house at 5 a.m. armed with his essentials, including three crisp new white shirts, packed in his Hy-Vee duffle bag (What other kind of bag did you think he would use???) and set out for the Denison Hy-Vee by way of the Ankeny Hy-Vee.

The name of the game for the four months of "Doug in Denison, Marsha in West Des Moines" was SURVIVE.  We truly shifted into survival mode, "Don't think, just go" mode.  Doug had this new and incredible opportunity that he needed to acclimate himself to and I had a job, a house, a pug, and precious twin boys to take care of and a move and career change to prepare for.

Between April 13 and August 13 we rode the waves of change.  I resigned my job, the boys went to live with their father, our cars memorized the two hour journey between West Des Moines and Denison, the drive-thru workers at the McDonald's at Exit 46 became my friends and we packed up our first five years worth of memories and identities and furniture and dishes and pug and brought it all to Denison to start a new chapter. 

Since getting to Denison on August 13th I've felt myself unwind.  I've learned that sometimes unwinding isn't relaxing or pretty, sometimes it's more like unraveling, in a very post traumatic sort of way.  You've seen things unwind...like a rope or a string or something?  It starts out kind of slow and gets gradually faster and faster until the momentum of the unwinding, which is really spinning, nearly reverses the direction of the motion and at last there is a violent JOLT and everything is at a standstill.  (I think that JOLT is technically known as inertia.  How about that!?!  My life is a physics lesson!)  That's where I am, the JOLT.  It's an interesting place to be, the JOLT.  I try to see past the whiplash and into the joy everyday but somedays the JOLT gets the best of me.  Even still, I try not to judge my emotions and do my best to give thanks because this is a new place with new experiences and no one ever said new places and new experiences would be easy.