Freak Out!

Yesterday was a great day!  I spent a few hours lounging around in a park and then went to acupuncture and then had a lovely lunch with Doug's parents, sister, and niece.  How could that not be blissful?!  

But there were bits of yesterday that have left me feeling like this:

Here's what:

1. My acupuncturist is now officially on sabbatical to prepare for and welcome her new baby.  I am 15 weeks away from my next appointment with her.  I typically do not go more than 2 weeks without seeing her.  I've known this was coming and although I am very sad about not seeing her for such a long time - because she really has become a dear friend - I know that I can get through this and that there are other very nice acupuncturists that I can see should I feel like I just cannot make it the full 105 days until she returns to her office.  But they will not be any Acupuncture Abby.

2. Following my last chiropractor appointment I decided that maybe, maybe, I would start a BBT chart.  I told my lovely chiropractor at my last visit that I've tried to chart in the past but I'm just not sure I'm responsible enough for it.  I forget sometimes.  And anyone who knows anything about a BBT chart knows that forgetting is a MAJOR faux pas.  Even still, I decided maybe this charting business was something I had grown-up enough to handle.  I am in my thirties now.  So, with throughly researched and newly purchased basal thermometer in hand and highly rated and freshly downloaded charting app on my iphone, I set off on a BBT charting adventure.  Even though I was a few days into my cycle when all of this came about I thought, "I'm not going to worry about this.  I'm not going to wait until my next cycle to start.  I'll just jump in and try not to think about it."  And so...  

• I've temped regularly - except for those few days I was out of town and forgot my thermometer at home
• I've charted diligently - unless I forget to record and have to look at the thermometer again while hoping I didn't accidentally reset the last temperature taken, and 
• I've intensely overanalyzed the happenings of my BBT compared to what I think my BBT should be doing and it's quite possible that I am more stressed out about the happenings of my body now than ever before.  

Well, maybe not ever.  But I'm pretty stressed out about this.  And I feel like it's a ridiculous thing to stress out about.

2-a. I'm sure some of you are now thinking, "She should just relax!"  Some of you may even have the distaste to suggest such a thing to me directly.  FYI: We are past the point of "relaxing" and those comments do anything but help.  So, how about you smack yourself since I can't reach you.  :-)

KIDDING.

Not really.

3. The combination of #1 and #2.  AAAAAAGH!

4. As Doug and I were headed out of town yesterday I got a call from my family practitioner's office letting me know that my liver enzymes were a bit elevated and they wanted to re-test.  Since we were in town we opted to stop by her office on our way home and have the test done.  The results will be back in a few days.  The nurse mentioned a handful of things that could lead to elevated liver enzymes, a few of which seem possible.  We will see.  Just after the "little stick," the nurse also mentioned that...

5. My doctor is no longer working at that clinic.  Well, that's a fun bomb to have dropped on you while a needle is raping your vein and stealing your blood. I LOVE that doctor!  And now I'm going to have to work with someone new as we figure this liver business out.  GREAAAAT.

6. Combine #s 1 and 5.  WHAT!?!?  IS!?!?!  GOING!?!?!?  ON!?!?!?! IN!?!?!?!? MY!?!?!?!?!  LIFE!?!?!?!?!?  These are MAJOR players on what I like to refer to as my "Board of Advisors."  I've known and trusted these people for nearly as long as my husband!  And now they're not available for one reason or another and I am SCARED about it.

And it absolutely does feel like a bird has pooped on my head...while I'm at the mall...picking up a gift...for a wedding I'm running late to.

Now that that has been fully purged, I think I'll go meditate and try to expend some of this fearful freak out energy.  Namaste.

xo